Sad story of teen suicide......"The family of a college student who killed himself live on the Internet say they’re horrified his life ended before a virtual audience, and infuriated that viewers of the live webcam or operators of the Web site that hosted it didn’t act sooner to save him.
Only after police arrived to find Abraham Biggs dead in his father’s bed did the Web feed stop Wednesday — 12 hours after the 19-year-old Broward College student first declared on a Web site that he hated himself and planned to die.
“It didn’t have to be,” said the victim’s sister, Rosalind Bigg. “They got hits, they got viewers, nothing happened for hours.”
Biggs announced his plans to kill himself over a Web site for bodybuilders, authorities said. He posted a link from there to Justin.tv, a site that allows users to broadcast live videos from their webcams. A computer user who claimed to have watched said that after swallowing some pills, Biggs went to sleep and appeared to be breathing for a few hours while others cracked jokes.
Some members of his virtual audience encouraged him to do it, others tried to talk him out of it, and some discussed whether he was taking a dose big enough to kill himself, said Wendy Crane, an investigator with the Broward County medical examiner’s office."Suicide Note Below:
To Whom It May Concern
I am going to leave this for whoever stumbles across my bookmarks later on. I hate myself and I hate living. I think that if someone who knows me reads this they will know who I am. So I will leave this unsigned. I am an a–hole. I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am not good enough for her.
I have come to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in the past. I used to think of my failure as some mystical way of telling me that I was really meant for something meaningful. The only thing I dread besides the pain, is the way my family will suffer. I do not want my mother or father to think that it was anything they did that lead me to kill myself. I never really had any plans of leaving a note. I thought that I would not be able to describe why I want to do this and I am right. There is no way to tell you or anyone else why I dread every new day. My father had such high expectations for me and tried to give me every opportunity to improve upon myself. I let him down. I think that I am a major disappointment to him. I have a job but I’m always broke and I am in college but barely, I show up to class but that’s about it.
I want my life to end. I am tired of f—ing up everything. I am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I hope that my parents know that I f–ked up not them. It is my fault I screwed up my own life.
This hate rages full force towards me and only me. I have long forgiven those who’ve hurt me, but I have not and cannot come to terms with forgiving myself, and the things I’ve done to hurt those in my life. You have all touched my life in one way or another, especially those whom I call family.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for ending my life the way I did. I hope that you can all find it in your heart to see it as a way for me not suffering anymore and that I am finally at rest with myself, for being at rest with my guilt that constantly ate at me for so long.
Please forgive me all for taking my life so early. I tried so hard to fight against this strong battle I have reached out for help so many times, and yet I believe, I was turned away because of the things I did, that it is a punishment. I am willing to take, for I know that being who I am has only brought myself and others pain.
I love you all and will forever live within the memories we created.
Forgive me
Love always and forever
As for my signatre I will leave you with a quote so that if anyone reads this they will know it’s me. “Can’t feel pain if your dead? Just Saying”
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